The Abditory Blog

Why do we need to attach meaning to everything, we're two humans, we met in a chapter of life, that had us both playing important roles in each others verses. Why do we try to attach significance, why can't we hold love, value, respect, and connection without complicating it constantly. Why do we have to over think of the 1000 others that will impose or dispose of whatever we are. What is the internal conflict doing here, does it feel that heavy, or are we making it, and why are we? Why aren't we willing to accept warmth, unconditional acceptance, is it that rare.   Why am I fighting, why do we care, or do we not. Why should I feel pain yet again, again and again, why can't we let there be flow. Bridges are severed, but only the bridge of perspective that was imposed on me without proper judgement, it served as a divide. The truth if really be told, is that the day that a relationship already fails to exist is the day the first infidelity takes place... from there on, t...

I don't know what to write about, I am so lost, I have so many things on my mind, like 150 tabs, I want to write about the sunset, and the ocean waves I am listening to, and I want to write on the newly found perspective about my mother, experiencing life for the first time as well, or the "morosis" (extreme stupidity) I continue with in my love life. There are such indulgent things happening, I am maybe thinking of finding a job, in a sector that I haven't worked in before, I am hesitant about renewing my company, with all the visa costs attached with, I am in a dichotomy about the very nature of my relationship with god. I have an urge to give, to volunteer and a form of procrastination that doesn't allow me to move. I have so many ideas, my mind is running, and yet I am here, just back from a 2 week holiday from Srilanka.  I have an inner urge to be left alone, with multiple books, but at the same time, there's a chaos in my heart that longs for connection ...