The Abditory Blog

How weird is life? I have always wondered. The only true fact about life is death, and yet everyone is scared to suffer and to die.

Traveling back from a tiring day at work, my mind still felt hungry for some more knowledge. As I transcended into the world of the mind (My book - being ‘How your mind works’) the outer world seemed too involved running the rat race to notice anything but tiredness and stress from a busy day. Beep, beep, beeep.... one after another people kept punching in their NOL cards. The chapter that I was visually present in, a lot different. It spoke about the small adventures one has and the little moments we treasure. The impromptu meetups and the last-minute decisions. Every bit of my heartfelt content reading such a good few pages. 10 minutes were over and my heat pack well heated now rests behind my back as I continue writing this. This weekend has quite the schedule. Being lazy after a tiring day, I dozed and woke up hungry craving some waffles and falafel, the same things that were very well laid out at our breakfast gathering this morning. My tired legs and drowsy eyes didn’t hes...

My thoughts are so cluttered, with a lot of things and a lot of different analysis going on. From the past few months, I don't know what I have been feeling, it's like I forgot how to feel. It's like I am just living. On my trip to Rishikesh, I was just living. In my days here I laugh, sometimes even a lot, I feel overwhelmed with all the love that I receive from people. Some days are just sad, I have been wanting to be alone a lot lately, in the recent few months, I have spoken to more people on the phone than I connected with over here. I repeat the same stories to 10 different people, explaining to them how I feel when in reality I don't even know how I feel. My hair is thinning, my mood is becoming more unstable. I have been wanting to write for a while, and I keep postponing that as well. However when it comes to a point where I need to feel - I am more numb than anything, happiness just an outer shell, sadness, and outer shell and the overwhelming feeling too...

My journey -   Part 1   While I sat panicking in my office one evening before I was about to begin my trip, all I could think of was the amount of work I needed to complete and if I had forgotten about something that I shouldn’t. The constant chatter of my thoughts kept me a lot in the moment and fast aslee p in the air plane. I reached Delhi at the dawn of early sunrise. As I stepped out of the airport - the cold fresh air made me feel alive, and the pollution kept me in reality. So lets begin. The India Adventure 2.0. 14th Feb 2020, location Delhi - sector 110A, 14 degrees, Meghna’s house. Aarti’s, old Hindi music and dhinchak Bollywood in the cab, was the perfect welcome in India! I loved it. As I got out of bed I felt the chilly Delhi winter. I quickly forced myself to get out of bed and leave for my journey ahead.  I reached the Lotus Temple after a hectic metro ride, and a long waited short auto journey. It felt like I had been invited by god to visit...

When I moved to Dubai - it was the starting of a new phase in my life, the part where I adult, learn to adjust, be inspired about spirituality, connect more with my family. This one year of my life has been  better than a dream. I got the best job, I live very comfortably. Dubai has a lot of good things - it's got the best of places, the most modern architecture, the blue skies and sun and it's very close to home ( now is home ) It's got water everywhere and the washrooms are very well maintained - had to add that in here. When everyone told me - what a hot place it is, I knew they would be exaggerating and turns out they were. I always wait to experience a place for myself before I decide if I could be comfortable here or not. I am a person that loves looking forward to the next phase of her life, when in my last year of college - I sat from September to January looking for jobs abroad, so after college I could get into one. While everyone else was looking to finally ...

2 months and maybe a few more days. It was over with one call. When I asked him - what do you want to do further - all he could say was "I don't know". Am I that trash, that you don't even know what to do with me. I thought to myself. I went and looked at myself in the mirror and I thought - wait a minute, look at me - let me tell you I am not the most beautiful person in the world - but when I do see myself in the mirror, I love myself and I asked myself do I deserve this. The answer was no. I did not hesitate to leave behind that person who I thought was made for me. Yes looking back now, I wish he really had said something else. I wish he would put in a little effort, unfortunately he was the same like Joanna - he was a boy, under his parents who loved his life a little too much to be bothered about me, in simple words - there was no space in his life for me. I do not have hatred for him, nobody has that much power in my life. I still have love in my heart a...

Turns out I am bit EXTRA when it comes to missing / loving my better half. Long Distance Relationships, let's get started. - I am doing it because I know he's the one. I keep reading articles and keep myself updated with how to's, because it's necessary to realize and understand from others mistakes and learn from them. No relationship is purrfect, and neither is ours in all honesty. I get upset so easily - he's such a mature human being when it comes to self control or in terms of life itself and genuinely I admire him so much for that. I have never been this person who want's extra attention or is clingy. The only time that happened was probably in my first relationship - which ended in two months, because I was a rebound. Any how - with him, it's so different - because we live so far away, exactly 10,799 km's. So here's what I read and what I am going to try to do - not forgetting the fact that I am trying to become a better version of ...