The Abditory Blog

2 months and maybe a few more days. It was over with one call. When I asked him - what do you want to do further - all he could say was "I don't know". Am I that trash, that you don't even know what to do with me. I thought to myself. I went and looked at myself in the mirror and I thought - wait a minute, look at me - let me tell you I am not the most beautiful person in the world - but when I do see myself in the mirror, I love myself and I asked myself do I deserve this. The answer was no. I did not hesitate to leave behind that person who I thought was made for me. Yes looking back now, I wish he really had said something else. I wish he would put in a little effort, unfortunately he was the same like Joanna - he was a boy, under his parents who loved his life a little too much to be bothered about me, in simple words - there was no space in his life for me. I do not have hatred for him, nobody has that much power in my life. I still have love in my heart a...

Turns out I am bit EXTRA when it comes to missing / loving my better half. Long Distance Relationships, let's get started. - I am doing it because I know he's the one. I keep reading articles and keep myself updated with how to's, because it's necessary to realize and understand from others mistakes and learn from them. No relationship is purrfect, and neither is ours in all honesty. I get upset so easily - he's such a mature human being when it comes to self control or in terms of life itself and genuinely I admire him so much for that. I have never been this person who want's extra attention or is clingy. The only time that happened was probably in my first relationship - which ended in two months, because I was a rebound. Any how - with him, it's so different - because we live so far away, exactly 10,799 km's. So here's what I read and what I am going to try to do - not forgetting the fact that I am trying to become a better version of ...

I read this article on Medium recently and I think this is what everyone should know - it was written by Kris Gage.  I also happened to be thinking about this recently and it's when you decide to give someone your everything it when you love. Thinking about this, couples who last long - decide in their head that they want this, with all their heart.  It's about when you decide to be in love and when you finally commit to yourself and your partner.  How to know you LOVE them: (1) You know because you decide You don’t  feel  love. You DO it. It’s an act, not a feeling. It’s a moment by moment decision and re-commitment. You  know  because it’s deliberate and conscious. (2) You know because you DO the act of loving You invest. You exert effort. You don’t knowingly do harm. You aren’t vengeful, petty, manipulative, or jealous. Their needs never seem irritating. You aren’t grabby with them, their time, or their affection in return....

I am 100% sure I want to live with the person I am dating today. I don't know how to control the thoughts I have sometimes, I have so many ideas in my head to live a quality life and I want to with him. He's such a perfect honey cup. When I am upset, I don't know why my thoughts keep going to the negative side - I really need to pull my self together. I can make a relationship work, I will be understanding, I will let him live his life the way he wants, I will be by his side supporting him, I will stand with him whatever happens, I will give him all the love I have. I will also do all the things I want, I will make it happen, I will serve the society, I will contribute, I will try to understand life from a way more different perspective. I want to grow with him, together. This is the first time I am feeling this. I took a small break from him yesterday - I felt I needed it, we had a fight two days back - on weed and acid - I thought he valued it more than me, I want...

Relationships are life changing. It’s a very practical decision you need to take with your head involved, because your choice will make your destiny. Love cannot be blind.  I am a dreamer. I want to do so many things. Thoughts about me settling have never really crossed my mind, until when I see my married cousins. They share the most beautiful relationship, to see them go through everything together, supporting each other, having cute little things in life - just seemed perfect. I aimed to lead a independent well to do life, to never marry anyone - why have all that drama in my life, I always wondered. Today when I realize what life is - it's that beautiful bond you have with someone (well not completely)- but definitely a part of it. It's being all in for each other, calling them family and treating them like a part of yourself. Relationships are supposed to be challenging, it helps you grow, it makes you realize that you need to learn how to adjust in life. Tha...

For over 6 months now I had been confused, just like always. The epiphany of life happens in rather miraculous ways. Let me rewind this story to September 25th 2018 - A young 19-year-old, looking for a job with a dream in mind and a purpose in her head and a soulful in Dubai. A country she never imagined coming to, a place she never chose. Destiny had something else in mind for her. Everything seemed fast - time, effort, struggle, new learnings. Bahai Faith, the faith of this new world. I was introduced to this faith by my dear guide and a motherly figure who I lovingly call guddi bhabhi. Time flies, it only felt like yesterday that I had a conversation with her about life and it's incompleteness in every sense, it had been 4 years actually.  The orphic way of life quite stuns me. How destiny works, and how we play such an important role in this way of life. God brought me back to Dubai, closer to who I now call my second parents. It's a beautiful journey. I have been s...