To doing better.

When I started out this blog, I was this young energetic soul filled with a perspective of the world that was so beautiful, I almost always looked at everything in a positive light. Not sure if it is a part of adulting or a part of the experiences I have had in the recent few years that have made me forget that version of myself. It's true we have to maintain the mindset we form, we need to cut the stems, analyze what's wrong, if there's too much sunlight in a place or if we are overwatering ourselves. 

I feel like a failure, today a sad gloomy part of me is always controlling me, I don't understand what I have to give to the world. Everything seems like a challenge, from hair care, skin care, home care, food meal prep, videography, something that I have been doing for 2 years feels like it has made no real progress because I never took the effort to learn, I rather just sat here trying to figure it out, when everything in life is truly meant to be a system. 

I am afraid, looking at the empty room I am in, will I never have a supportive partner who can help me, lift me up? I feel like a mediocre person, who is just average in everything I do. I want to strive for excellence, I want to be a better person, I want to learn and do better. 

So here's to feeling sad that helps me use my energy into learning, doing, and being better.