The Abditory Blog

When I started out this blog, I was this young energetic soul filled with a perspective of the world that was so beautiful, I almost always looked at everything in a positive light. Not sure if it is a part of adulting or a part of the experiences I have had in the recent few years that have made me forget that version of myself. It's true we have to maintain the mindset we form, we need to cut the stems, analyze what's wrong, if there's too much sunlight in a place or if we are overwatering ourselves.  I feel like a failure, today a sad gloomy part of me is always controlling me, I don't understand what I have to give to the world. Everything seems like a challenge, from hair care, skin care, home care, food meal prep, videography, something that I have been doing for 2 years feels like it has made no real progress because I never took the effort to learn, I rather just sat here trying to figure it out, when everything in life is truly meant to be a system.  I am afrai...

2:59 AM on the clock, unable to sleep, yet trying so hard to do so. It happens to be one of those nights, those first few nights of adjusting to change, a new bed, a new room, silent and high. It's true, the human mind and body are built to adapt. My mind races fast, I can feel my thoughts racing, with every thought, an emotion. There's nowhere to run away until dawn. It's these few hours of nothingness, that makes me wonder if I am even headed in the correct direction? It's a mystery, that does not come with 6 lifelines.   Would it be nicer with someone? Maybe I should be on one of these dating apps, however no matter where I might be, with someone or without, I realize I need to learn how to navigate my state of mind to a place of comfort no matter what the state of circumstance might be.  It gets strangely quiet sometimes isn't it. This is what intrigues me about people travelling alone, how do they live with their thoughts, do they just get used to the fear, do ...