Days of Emptyness.

As time goes by, we tend to forget the numerous moments that formed up our lives just like atoms, to describe it to the dot. 

Many people form happy memories. Lying flat on the bed, listening to my mum and sister talk about dinner, I look through some old photos from college that I don't recall on a normal day at all. It's beautiful the many uncountable tiny moments you don't expect, but that come up while looking through a few photographs. 

Are hormones uncontrollable? 

It's 16th October 2021. Khana hai Nitin? Guddi Bhabhi asks. Everyone is seated at the table. I feel comfortable sitting at the brown sofa. I feel very sad. I feel directionless. I feel super lost and super sad. I am back again at not knowing what to do. I don't know if God exists anymore. Because for my entire life I have kept trying to think I am special. Kept trying to think positive but I am finally over all of this. Life sucks. I am at such a saturation point right now. I just want to rant. I hate this. Life is unfair. And sometimes circumstances suck. I have gone through enough and it doesn't seem to be ending. It just feels more challenging every single day and it sucks that I have to do it all alone. 

I don't like this at all. 

I don't know what to do. Will I ever be able to be anything? Will I ever be able to do anything? I want to have experiences and I want to be able to do things, but it's difficult.