"I don't want this anymore, I am not sure if I want to continue to see each other". Tears rolled down her eyes, she was so tired of it all not working out. For over 2 years she kept trying, trying to find the one, trying to persevere, not give up. Her 3 weeks trip to India made her feel all the love she needed, maybe she was a bit lonely, maybe she was looking for support. Sometimes it's good to have that, it can make all the difference. I feel bad for her.
We make our own destiny, at least that's what she believed. Whenever the decision would be taken by another person, it would leave her devastated, there would be nothing she could do about it. The choice wasn't hers, the decision wasn't hers. No amount of persevering would work.
I would be angry with God too if I was in her shoes. It is unfair, and it is sad. Life has been playing with her since the beginning esp with emotions and close ones. Maybe that's her fate, to not be able to have any love. Maybe she needs to give a lot more love to receive any. She seems too exhausted to be giving out love as well. She tried distracting herself, but all that works only in theory.
She tries again, she goes back on impulse only to find disrespect. She starts thinking relationships are not worth it, they are maybe not needed, maybe she is right and maybe she needs to prove everyone wrong. She's got rejected too many times now, or she thinks, but what number can too many be in the pond where billions exist.
She blocks them all and tries to balance her emotions, she is tired, emotionally. She is suddenly questioning who is she. Just another Indian chick who was crazy, Nah, she knows she is so much more. She's going to prove it to the world, it's begun, times have gotten her to change, it's not going to be about boys anymore, it is going to be about herself, growth, and stability.
I pray for her, it's not easy living a loveless life, but she is doing a better job at it than most would be. She is just going to focus on training herself moving forward from there, she's seen too many empty worthless holes. It's going to be fine, everything will come together, she's going to find a purpose that no guy will be able to fulfill.
I am still proud of her and it doesn't matter she's made a few bad decisions, who doesn't. I am sure she will learn, she's very worthy, she's kind, she's loving and above all, she has a good heart and she knows it. Day by day she is growing, and I know it'll take her somewhere.
I am in love with her even more, and I know she'll be fine, there are special angels protecting her and maybe she forgot them, but that doesn't mean the angels left.
I wish her success, fortune, and lots of love. She's going to find it all, she deserves it.
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