An overwhelming feeling emerges as you have to let go of something you don't want to let go. A heartache that you can feel on the outside, and the sudden realization that you are not going to able to be happy by yourself.
Everything good has to come to an end, isn't there a quote like this in the bible. A proverb that means nothing lasts forever, all things and situations are temporary, or happiness is fleeting. What does it really mean when relationships come to a standstill when you aren't able to accept the very fact that the situation that arose cannot be.
Controlling, that's what I'd like to describe myself as. Wanting everything to be a certain way, and when it doesn't and uncertainty hits, it all comes tumbling and trembling down. Why in life are we not able to give somethings up, why do we keep telling God what we deserve, and how we want life to be. Not satisfied, would be the rating, I would give to God's service right now. (* laughing*)
Tears overflow my eyes, I realize I am not handling this well. So many moods, so many emotions, so many thoughts, constantly running through my mind. What is self-control, self-respect, self-love?
We fight for something we want in our lives, even if it is so wrong, and give up something so easily that we think we don't need.
My hands are trembling, and I can hear my heart beating so fast in my head, I quickly type on google - 'what does this mean', panic attack, low blood sugar are some words the searches read. The phone quivers as I dial the number most frequently called, and hear a familiar voice, which is the only sound that calms me down.
When did we give away our powers, or how do we give away our powers to people? Shouldn't we be strong enough to handle things on our own? What is this emotional dependency that we reach? The question arises again, how do we lead a self-fulfilled life? Takes years of experience I guess, I keep listening to music to distract my mind, but my heart won't stop racing.
So childish, what a fool I was, only if I knew better things awaited, my future self speaks. Maybe there is a good thing about looking at things from the future, rather than looking for what the future entails because there is calmness in knowing what happens, and chaos when uncertainty befalls.
Manifest your thoughts into powerful energies that the earth listens to, for the earth can hear the sound of your energy, this is the language they speak. Let go, let the universe decide - but aren't we our own universe
Be yourself, listen to the voice in your heart, but have the courage to face what comes next, for you are the writer and this is your story.
Let the waves take you where they have to. Control what you can, swim, struggle, relax or drown.
Comments
Post a Comment