Work & Mood

I feel this overwhelming sadness, like the summer of 2013 - when I was in 10th at my Nani's house, never before did I want to cry as hard and today in the summer of 2020 I feel the same.

I don't know why, but every time when family hurts me, I feel such so much more, almost like depression - I guess I need to stop caring so much.

A mix of emotions, sitting here at Dubai Design District my life feels this weird emptiness. I don't feel like going to work tomorrow, it's my first day and I already don't feel like it. I don't know where to go. 

I want to go home, but I don't want to stay there forever. I want to come back to Dubai but I don't want to stay here for ever either, god I don't know where to go, guide me please. 

Also I feel this weird laziness / drowsiness of some sort drawn into my body, like I need to sleep. 

Day 1 at work - The office is not as I thought it would be, and what I thought was - that they would all be one big family and I'll be entering like an outsider, well things here are pretty awkward with everyone and I see a lot of sarcasm, and unreal people, or maybe I am too early a judge. 

But I like this place it's got a rugged, rough kind of feel with the ceiling undone, and the grey walls, with big bright windows. All the plants here are unreal - well considering if there were real ones in here - they would die. No body really cares here, I like that I am allowed to sit alone on these stairs very comfortably listening to the songs I like with a big blue bean bag. 

Oh wait, there just was so much noise here - the founder here Mahdi loves noise, this place is full of young people, I am not sure but I guess - even businesses can be shaped with the employees in mind. The Gen Z - type employees and how to keep them motivated. 

I want to be here for a bit longer, but this time focus mainly on the founder, what his vision was, and how the company works, and why the hiring rage. There's meditation that happens every morning, and everyone dresses well, they have quite a few bloggers that work here too. They also are making a brand out of them selves, so they make content for their own company. 

You ever feel this dull ache in your heart, when you're sitting in the office having nothing to do? This is exactly how I feel right now, I am just here - so sleepy. 

As you see I already have changed my mood 50 times today and am definitely bored. 

I am making interesting analysis about my taste though -