Marcid - Withered, incredibly exhausted. Habromania, a state of delusions, usually a delusion of happiness, is where I find myself today. I often time traveled in a dream into the future, where I would work for my own company, wearing beautiful dresses, roaming the world, living in a big spacious green house. In the eyes of a bourgeoisie girl, I am quite a time traveler for Cockaigne, an imaginary land of great luxury and ease. Today in my latibule, a hiding place, a place of safety and comfort amidst the chaos around the world, I feel afraid to step out, not knowing who am I, or what am I for, what do I believe in, do I even have it in me to make it big? Do I need to make it big? Where is the love of my life? Do I know myself? I feel in a sort of zugzwang, a situation where every possible move or decision is a bad one or one that will result in damage or loss. An uncalled unpaid leave in my ad agency has taught me a lot. I want to unwind, to understand why am I the way I am. I ...