Metanoia - The journey of changing one's mind, heart, self or way of life.
Lately I am in toska, a dull ache of the soul, a spiritual anguish. I have been connecting with the supreme power in the universe, it's more than a beautiful feeling. It's selcouth, unfamiliar, rare, strange yet marvelous.
Yet even in this phase I feel yonderly, emotionally distant and absent minded. I am a person who always wants to live in livsnjutare, someone who loves life deeply and lives it to the extreme, every second, every minute. It's important, to live like that or did you live at all. I believe god gives us one chance to live in this world, and our choices makes us who we are. Destiny is a just the hurdles that are placed in our path, or what's the fun in life, it needs to be hard to get.
Recently I went for a solo trip, searching for my soul. I wanted a break, instead I found my journey yugen, an awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words. I met different people, I thought I would connect with someone although I still felt orphic, mysterious and entrancing beyond ordinary understanding. My moods, my life, my thoughts, my choices, my passion, my thinking, my anxiety, my inner desires felt like a anecdoche, a conversation where no one is listening, it was only running inside my head between my two brains.
I feel adomania, the sense that the future is coming too quickly and the rubatosis (unsettling awareness of my heartbeat) just get's me so anxious. Not knowing the future is the best thing ever, it is beautiful, but for me it isn't. Everyday is zenosyne, the sense that time keeps going faster gets me thinking of everything I should be doing. I might sound like a psycho until now, you might also be thinking, why isn't this girl just enjoying the life that she has. In reality, I enjoy every second, I am in the moment all the time, but I also worry about the future because I firmly believe every moment that we spend becomes our past choice which directly affects our immediate future.
I want to be in sophrosyne, a healthy state of mind, characterized by self control, moderation and a deep awareness of one's true self resulting in true happiness, not that I am not in a healthy state right now, it's just that I want to do something, be something, stand on my own two feet and also help others stand on their two feet. I want to find a trouvaille, a valuable discovery or a lucky find, in which it would in itself be a empire that compromises of love, relationships, human bonds, happy place where everyone would live in co existence.
One day I will see myself owning private jets and working every day doing what I love, being generous and giving a whole lot, and even if everything goes away I will be totally content, because I know I will find my inner peace on the way up the ladder.
Today I am anxious and woolgathering, indulging in dreamy imagining, while everyone out there is working towards their dreams. I still need to get my dream, like my closest friend best described me - You're going to do well in the future, but you just don't know what you want to do.
I am on a journey because I am confused, and on the way, there'll be many Art Ame's and Wear Atrez's and eventually, it'll all happen exactly The Nehas Way, however, I just can't wait for it all. I am always so excited for the next phase, maybe why I don't miss anything.
Currently, I am listening to retro guitar sitting next to the window in total Meraki, to do something with soul, creativity, or love to put my self into my work. Some days are brumous, of grey skies and winter days, filled with heavy clouds and fog, it's always an overwhelming feeling for me, especially happiness I guess.
I am on the way, I'll be there in a bit. Everyone's journey doesn't have to be parallel. They are in the journey that is exactly drawn out for them, we are yet to be there because we still have a lot to learn on the way, there will be a time when there will be Madrugada, the moment when the night will greet the day, in their own time.
Let's see what I can learn and how much I can change. I am trying to be cathect towards forming a discipline and routine. Let's try doing it lagom, not too little, not too much, just right.
I am my Anam Cara, a person with whom you can share your deepest thoughts, feeling and dreams, your soul friend. Can't wait my entire life to find that person and then start sharing. Who is your Anam Cara?
Lately I am in toska, a dull ache of the soul, a spiritual anguish. I have been connecting with the supreme power in the universe, it's more than a beautiful feeling. It's selcouth, unfamiliar, rare, strange yet marvelous.
Yet even in this phase I feel yonderly, emotionally distant and absent minded. I am a person who always wants to live in livsnjutare, someone who loves life deeply and lives it to the extreme, every second, every minute. It's important, to live like that or did you live at all. I believe god gives us one chance to live in this world, and our choices makes us who we are. Destiny is a just the hurdles that are placed in our path, or what's the fun in life, it needs to be hard to get.
Recently I went for a solo trip, searching for my soul. I wanted a break, instead I found my journey yugen, an awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses too deep and mysterious for words. I met different people, I thought I would connect with someone although I still felt orphic, mysterious and entrancing beyond ordinary understanding. My moods, my life, my thoughts, my choices, my passion, my thinking, my anxiety, my inner desires felt like a anecdoche, a conversation where no one is listening, it was only running inside my head between my two brains.
I feel adomania, the sense that the future is coming too quickly and the rubatosis (unsettling awareness of my heartbeat) just get's me so anxious. Not knowing the future is the best thing ever, it is beautiful, but for me it isn't. Everyday is zenosyne, the sense that time keeps going faster gets me thinking of everything I should be doing. I might sound like a psycho until now, you might also be thinking, why isn't this girl just enjoying the life that she has. In reality, I enjoy every second, I am in the moment all the time, but I also worry about the future because I firmly believe every moment that we spend becomes our past choice which directly affects our immediate future.
I want to be in sophrosyne, a healthy state of mind, characterized by self control, moderation and a deep awareness of one's true self resulting in true happiness, not that I am not in a healthy state right now, it's just that I want to do something, be something, stand on my own two feet and also help others stand on their two feet. I want to find a trouvaille, a valuable discovery or a lucky find, in which it would in itself be a empire that compromises of love, relationships, human bonds, happy place where everyone would live in co existence.
One day I will see myself owning private jets and working every day doing what I love, being generous and giving a whole lot, and even if everything goes away I will be totally content, because I know I will find my inner peace on the way up the ladder.
Today I am anxious and woolgathering, indulging in dreamy imagining, while everyone out there is working towards their dreams. I still need to get my dream, like my closest friend best described me - You're going to do well in the future, but you just don't know what you want to do.
I am on a journey because I am confused, and on the way, there'll be many Art Ame's and Wear Atrez's and eventually, it'll all happen exactly The Nehas Way, however, I just can't wait for it all. I am always so excited for the next phase, maybe why I don't miss anything.
Currently, I am listening to retro guitar sitting next to the window in total Meraki, to do something with soul, creativity, or love to put my self into my work. Some days are brumous, of grey skies and winter days, filled with heavy clouds and fog, it's always an overwhelming feeling for me, especially happiness I guess.
I am on the way, I'll be there in a bit. Everyone's journey doesn't have to be parallel. They are in the journey that is exactly drawn out for them, we are yet to be there because we still have a lot to learn on the way, there will be a time when there will be Madrugada, the moment when the night will greet the day, in their own time.
Let's see what I can learn and how much I can change. I am trying to be cathect towards forming a discipline and routine. Let's try doing it lagom, not too little, not too much, just right.
I am my Anam Cara, a person with whom you can share your deepest thoughts, feeling and dreams, your soul friend. Can't wait my entire life to find that person and then start sharing. Who is your Anam Cara?
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